If only

If only.

If only.
If only the stars shone a little brighter.
If only.
If only mother loved my friends
If only my friends loved themselves
If only.

If only the hand stayed
Above the startled six year-old cheek
If only girlshine went beyond
12, 13, 14, oh, forever
If only.

If only I had said "yes"
When she had said "now"
If only peaches tasted of peaches
As they were, evermore
If only my towering sycamore
Still left a hole in the sky
If only

If only money were little more than paper
If only I had danced with her
Beyond my sudden embarrassment

If only I had said I should watch her back
And hope to understand her panic & pain
As my own
As my own
Oh, if only.

If only I'd gone into "Empire"
Not knowing Darth was Dad
If only I had really
Known my own dad at all

If I'd only had a car
To touch the surface of Mars
If only I had known
She was nervous, too

If only you could tell the young
"Here is pain, no, please,
Stay away"
And they stayed away
If only.

And
if only
my memories
could outlive me
and tell the ongoing skies
"This is what I knew!"
This, this! Is love
See, how I learned it
How it rose from my hands
Beyond the singing leaves
To startle the stars
But one last time
And become first memory
Again

And in stumbling kindess
Save the World Entire
If.

But for now
If I only had
One, last, beer.

If only.